I need to clarify Mom’s role in my decision to ride in the MS 150. When I wrote posts one and two it was pretty much right as I had gotten home Sunday after the ride. I was very tired and it’s been brought to my attention that some things can be and were taken in a way I totally didn’t intend and never occurred to me that it could be taken that way.
Mom is one of my best friends. She is someone that I can go to with any problem, any story or any time I need her. When I first told her I planned on doing the MS 150 she told me she was concerned about my ability to actually do the ride and finish. NOT that this was something I couldn’t do. But something she was concerned about my ability to do and not have my body get wore out or give up on me.
Mom’s concern was actually a good thing for me. It made me more determined to do what I could to complete the entire 150 miles. Her concern made me want to “prove Mom wrong” and, in a sense, prove me wrong. Although I can go to Mom anytime I have a problem or concern, this was something I didn’t share with her. I didn’t share with John, or anyone else. It’s not even something I really admitted to myself. After all, I was the one who’s legs felt like they were wrapped with saran wrap after getting off the stationary bike, the one who can no longer do a simple cardio class because my legs get too tired. The one who occasionally gives in and cries in the shower because my body won’t let me do those things anymore.
I didn’t want to admit to anyone that maybe this was going to be too much for me. So I clung to Mom’s concern. I let it drive my determination. And no matter how concerned Mom was, she still was behind me every step of the way. She has supported me through everything in my life. And I’m very very thankful that she’s not only my mom, but also my friend.