Crisis of Career

I’ve been having a crisis of career lately.  Or maybe that should be lack of one.  I have a lot of different skills, I’m highly trainable, but I feel like I don’t have what’s needed for a specific career.  Not that I know what I want that specific career to be.  That’s part of the problem.  I’m a little tired of having a job where I just sit all day long.  And I think I want something that would restore my faith in humanity.  I’m too young to be this jaded and get this irritated at people.

I’ve looked at openings at my company, but since I work for a big bank, most of the jobs are financial in nature.  I don’t want a financial job.  Trust me.  I barely passed Calculus in college (might have had a lot to do with skipping over Trig though).  I also barely passed Statistics.  So complex numbers are obviously NOT my forte.  So that doesn’t leave a whole lot of choice where I’m at.  I could go into the credit cards area.  But then I would be in the call center.  And that won’t help to restore my faith in anything!  Or there’s administration or management.  Admin is basically what I’m doing now, but with a fancier title and possibly more pay.  And management, heck no!  I don’t want that headache.  Especially in my department.

My friend Courtenay recently did a major overhaul of her life and went back to school to be a HUC (Health Unit Coordinator).  Part of her clinical assignment was to keep a journal about her experience.  I’ve loved reading about the joys, sorrows and challenges she’s faced on this new journey.  At the same time I was a little jealous.  I don’t begrudge her this at all.  I’m very happy for her, and I’m happy that she’s found something she loves.  But that’s where the jealousy comes in.  I want to find something I love.  I want to find something where I’m excited to go to work, if not every day, then at least most of the time. 

I’ve been researching the different options at my local colleges.  Each time I seem to be drawn back to the health care field.  I know I don’t want to be a nurse.  There’s no way I could handle that job.  I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be in administration.  Being a HUC, while a great fit for Courtenay, wouldn’t be a great fit for me.  Part of that has to do with a weak stomach for some things.  And, while this isn’t a huge factor in all this, the pay really isn’t that great. 

One of the things I’ve been looking at and researching is Physical Therapist Assistant.  Would I like it?  I have no clue.  Would I be good at it?  Yeah, most likely.  I tend to learn new things pretty quickly and usually what I do, I do well.  Would this be something I look forward to waking up and doing each day?  I really truly don’t know.  Or would I go through the program and then decide at some point (either during or after) that I really want this to be my career? 

If I do this, it’s going to mean a major, majorchange in my life right now.  I would have to find a new job, not exactly the best thing to do in today’s economy.  I NEED to have insurance.  I can’t go without health insurance.  And I can’t afford to get my own policy through an insurance company.  I also need to make enough to pay my rent, my car payment, my car insurance, utilities and food.  And let’s not forget my existing student loan or my almost gone (another year or so of working 2 jobs) credit card debt.  So essentially I would need to have pretty close to a full time job that I can work at night.  Or win the lottery, not much, just enough to pay off my debt. 

I really wish I had a fairy Godmother who could come wave a wand over my head and *Poof* I suddenly know what it is I want to be when I grow up and what I’m going to love doing.  I actually do know what I would love to do – I would love to write.  I would love to be an author and write fiction.  Sadly, that is something I don’t have a talent for.  And thankfully that is something I recognize and I don’t subject people to the drivel I would be producing.  So I guess it’s back to the drawing board for me.  As much as I wish I could change things, I guess I just need to suck it up and continue to deal with my life as it currently is.


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