Mmmm Spam!

My main email address I tend to get a lot of male enhancement and dating (anyone looking for a nice Jewish partner?) spam offers. I checked the Spam folder today for the address associated with the Hotpads for Hope – and I had to share some of these.  Copied exactly as it appeared. Any comments from me are in Red.

Mrs Carley Burnell – Note this address, remember it.

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information.  Learn more – Gmail was kind enough to warn me that I might not be coming into money after all.

Dear Beloved,

I am Mrs Carley Burnell, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to Sir Richard Burnell an Englishman who is dead – pretty sure that if he’s dead, you’re no longer married to him. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness.

My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament. I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship, which  never came – what exactly does this have to do with uplifting the down-trodden?. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of nine million eight hundred thousand United States Dollars. which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his  bank in London. Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I  have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me  most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen  my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which  comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down -trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures – in other words, I hate his family and want to stick it to them. I do not want this money to be misused hence  the reason for taking this bold decision.  I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. As soon as I receive your reply I shall  give you the contact of my attorney that will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation.

Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein.

Hope to hear from you soon.

You can contact me through my personal email address; – Remember the address I told you to take note of?  Notice anything different?

Yours Sincerely Mrs Carley Burnell.


Allen Williams – Again, take note of the email address.

Dear beneficiary,

This is to re-notify– re-notify me? I never got a notify you of the 300,000.00(DOLLARS) was deposited here in the western union office in your name is available for pickup. Contact us via email for your M.T.C.N Numbers.

Contact Person:Mr. Allen Williams Direct Line:+2347054799121 wait, this isn’t the email address you used to send me the message.

Please Send Reply To **


And the dough keeps rolling in!

RE: FUND FINAL PAYMENT BOARD/PAYMENT SETTLEMENT VALUE AMOUNT: $950,000.00USD: Get in touch with Mr. Johnson Williams, oversea Credit Commission  for your payment send your full name,address,telephone number,and your account number to him to process your payment

Mrs. Rosemary Russell. Vice President

I can retire now, right?


2 Responses to Mmmm Spam!

  1. Snowcatcher says:

    Don’t you love it? I get similar garbage, plus New York parking tickets (never been there), and every Nigerian scam that’s ever hit the planet. Ick.

    Delete key comes in pretty handy sometimes…


    • craftycritter says:

      Normally I just do a quick scan through since occasionally real emails end up in the spam folder. Every once in a blue moon I’ll actually read them for the amusement factor.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: