Rules for Being a Customer

January 5, 2008

As most people know, I work a part time job in a call sales call center. I don’t do outbound calls, I receive them and place the order the customer wants. In past years the standard has been “the customer is always right”, something that most people know isn’t completely true. So, to help people be better customers and better, more considerate people, here’s some rules to consider. And please feel free to add any of your own.

1) When you want to order something, know EXACTLY what you want to order. Calling and saying “I want the kit that was on this afternoon that had the three bottles” but you don’t know what time it was on, what the name of the product or brand is doesn’t help you get the item you want. I’m sorry, my crystal ball is broken and “outlook does not look good” on repairs.

2) The telephone number to call is NOT going to change in the next 5 minutes. Your item will. Get the item information written down first, then get the number and call.

3) There are 50 states that we sell items to. Each state has their own sales tax laws. Not only do tax laws very from state to state, but sometimes counties and/or cities decide they need to get into the mix. Telling me what state you live does not mean I can tell you what your tax is going to be. Especially when states vary what can and cannot be taxed in regards to the items AND shipping costs. All the tax information is loaded into the order system and will calculations will be finalized at the summary screen.

4) Do not ask me what your total cost is/will be when you have just given me the item number or are just creating a customer account. That information has not yet been calculated. And when you are told “I will be happy to tell you that information just as soon as I have it”, that means you will be told as soon as everything is calculated. I’m sorry, I did not create the ordering program. If I had, I would have tried to figure out a way to have a running total of all taxable items. Since I didn’t and I don’t, please do not continously ask me what the total is.

5) Don’t forget about sales tax. Just because an item has free shipping, does not mean it will still be the same price that you see on the screen.

6) PAY ATTENTION TO ME! Hmm, maybe this should be number one. I know that the food in the restuarant commercial looks very tasty, or your attention is caught by the trailer for a new movie. I promise, if you pay attention to me and what I’m asking you, you can get back to your commercials or whatever else that much sooner. And turn down your tv. I understand you may need the volume up higher to hear your show, but that also means I have to talk louder so you can hear me. So please, turn it down for 2 minutes. And remember, you called me. You want to buy an item from me. Which leads to 7.

7) You called me. I am not the one wasting your time. I am trying to do what I am supposed to do in the process of ordering something for you. If you don’t have time to be calling and answering the questions I am required to ask, then write down the item number and/or name and call back! Don’t continually interrupt, give me more than I need and complain about how you’re in a hurry.

8) Shut up! I don’t need to know anything other than what I’m asking you. That means if you’re ordering health items, I don’t need to know why you think this item will help you and the problems you’ve been having. Especially when you keep telling me you’re in a hurry. So if you answer the questions I’m asking you, you’ll get to go back to whatever or take off for wherever that much sooner.

9) Let me ask my questions and proceed as I need to. I promise, I will tell you how much the total is, when you’ll get it and what your payment amounts will be. That’s all at the summary. If I ask you something and you don’t answer, I still have to ask again and again until you answer what I asked.

10) Read Emily Post or Ms. Manners. And start remembering the lessons your parents taught on regarding interrupting. Not only is it rude, but it may mean I miss the answer to the question. That happens because as I’m asking, you decide to answer. And because I’m still talking and you start, I don’t hear what you’re telling me. That could be a bad thing, especially if I’m obtaining pertinent information. Plus, it’s just rude.

There, I think that’s all for now. I’m pretty sure I have a few others floating around, but they’ve decided to hide behind other neurons for now. So, please feel free to share any other rules or vents you may have. And have a good night everyone.

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